So, I always see my gorgeous bloggy friends looking so hottie with their babies and I think, “Man, I got my bod back, I can be a cool mom too.”

Then I see pictures like this. In my head I thought I was looking so cute and fallish and svelte. In reality, I’m slumped over, trying to hold tight to a squirmy baby, and smiling like Chunk from the Goonies in front of a lot of important soldiers.

You see I have this problem a lot. The actress in me thinks I look amazing at whatever I’m doing. Then I see actual documentation of said activity and I’m quickly put in my place.

For instance, I saw this picture online and this is exactly what happens in my head:

Or when I’m trying to have uhh “married time” and be a sexy housewife I think I look like this:

When in reality I look like this:

So in conclusion, how the @#$% do I pose with my baby (who is my latest accessory) so that I can somehow pull off the “cute mom” fantasy I’m living inside of my head?!

Love, Chunk with James Brown’s hair