Yall are seriously the best. I mean THE best. I’ve been so encouraged and humbled by your comments and your emails. Everytime I checked my inbox over the past week I have been brought to tears. You have no idea what your notes have meant to me, they have been such a blessing.

With that said…

I CAN’T QUIT YOU BABY!

So… that was a much shorter break than I thought but hey, at least I missed it right? I found myself all weekend thinking, “I need to document this for my blog!” (Totally healthy right?)

It was a refreshing few days of taking a step back. I tried to understand where I had gone wrong in taking on such guilt. I have been exploring my heart and asking the Lord to meet me there. Unsurprisingly He did. I sat in His stillness. I sat in my pain. I released my fears. I relished in His healing.

Add cups of coffee, Apricot Ale, and Sweet-tarts and it was a pretty solid weekend.

I think that pursuing simplicity should be a daily goal battle. If we wait until its a last ditch effort and we’re so far into the hole of busy schedules/unrealistic expectations/self-loathing then simplicity will continue to be something that we think is unobtainable but keep grasping at so desperately. Instead, it should be something that we daily pursue and humbly but disciplinely (not a word….but dammit I love an adverb so its my life goal to make every word an adverb) try to obtain.  We have to make it a priority to take a deep breath and give ourselves a little credit, shrug our shoulders every now and then at our shortcomings, pat ourselves on the back for making it to bedtime each night, and unclench our fists that we hold so tightly around “our plan”.

So what if Bud isn’t getting 100% breastmilk? My “fearfully and wonderfully made” son has decided to self-wean and I’m still able to nurse 3x/day.  I have to unclench my fist and release the plan I had in my head and give us a both a little freedom.

So what if I’m not as successful as my blogging peers? I have new friendships with Emily, Laura, Sandra, Erin B, Jessi, Angela, Lauren, Gretchen, Alicia, and several more. I have reconnected with friends like Leslie, Jamie, and Laurian. I hold your words of encouragement so dearly that I’ve been revisiting your emails/comments all week.

So what if our “story” is a bit different than others? Sam and I will grow stronger through this and have such a fun newlywed experience when he gets back… knowwhati’msayin’. I’ve learned to never take his presence for granted, never think a birddog can snuggle as good as my man, and how to write one hell of a love note.

With all that said… hope you missed me because I’m back baby!