Ok, this is not going to be a serious post. In fact, this may bring me down in your books (I like to think you write about me in your diary) a bit. I was writing a paper last night and couldn’t focus because my husband’s hot body laying on the couch like a giant flank steak was beckoning me to snuggle and watch 1 of the 8,000 Johnny Depp movies that was on TV. So, I thought, “Hey, you used to go to Starbucks in college and write papers! Maybe that’ll work!” So I went. Here is what I noticed in the 2 hours I was there… besides the fact that I won’t go back any time soon.
1. Ladies, tights are NOT pants. I don’t care how cool your tshirt is, no one is looking at it because we’re all afraid that you’ll get a run in your tights and we’ll see your wonderland.
2. It is weird if you have a pornographic desktop background up for everyone to see. It’s even weirder that the pornographic desktop background is of yourself. Just you.
3. Why are you a loud talker? Are you afraid the guy you’re talking to won’t hear you over the deafening silence that some of us like to call, peace?
4. How do toes fit into those cowboy boots that point upwards at a 90 degree angle at the toe?
5. Have I mentioned that tights aren’t pants?
6. Why, when I am the only one sitting inside, clearly studying, and all the tables are empty; Do you, Lady Luck on the cell phone sit down next to me and giggle with your greased up suitor about who are you talking to on the phone? Why? So many other tables where you could sit…
7. When did Starbucks baristas start wearing Starbucks arm bands? Are they going to come play music in my garage later?
8. How many times can they play the She & Him album in the few hours I was here? Oh good you want an answer… thrice.
