*Warning: not a male-friendly blog post*

I may or may not have reached a new level of scatter-brain on Tuesday. I had a lot on my mind and despite getting up early, having my coffee and some QT on the porch, getting dressed with plenty of time to spare… I forgot something.

I was walking across the parking lot to work and something felt different…off…. nonexistent. MY BRA! I FORGOT TO PUT MY BRA ON! MOTHER OF PEARL I FORGOT TO PUT MY BRA ON!

I was already late to work and had to leave right at 4 for a doctor’s appt so I knew I couldn’t run home and get it. I began thinking of all the ways I could construct a bra in the office: paperclips, duct tape, printer tape, you name it, I was trying to build-a-bra. (Parents-this is NOT the same fun game as build-a-bear)

So I walked around the office the rest of the day like an embarrassed 13-year old with her arms crossed across her chest. I was certain that no one would notice. Afterall, I’m not that well endowed. Well at around 1:30 I was taking the trash out and a dear coworker of mine decided to spark up a lovely conversation. Of course I was trying to maneuver the trash bag to hide my flippy-floppies while this coworker who will remain nameless (starts with an M and ends in -ary) says in front of a group of fellow workers, “Your boobs look saggy today.”

True Story. The end.