Martha Metzler.com

That’s me!

Good afternoon friends, if you’d like to see my post on September 11, visit

I’m headed out of town for the weekend for some R&R! But don’t worry, you’ll be on my mind.

A girlfriend and I were talking about how difficult it can be when you’re making a decision for your family. The difficult part is the communication and the infamous waiting process between you and your spouse. (I really wish I could have played scary music while you read waiting process).

Let’s just say that patience is a virtue I’m working towards… ok fine, daily. AM I PATIENT YET?! I digress, I heard the funniest thing the other day that my friend Andrea told me. We both almost bought a lifetime supply of Depends because we were laughing so hard we thought our bladders were conspiring against us. “Women are DSL while men are dial up.”

I’ll let you laugh a bit more.

I know, I’m sorry you can hear my cackling all the way from where you are.

It’s funny because it’s true! When I think I have the right answer for our decision or I have a desire on my heart, I’m ready to go! I’ve already made the list, planned the escape route, planned my outfit, and planned for spandex to wear during my escape route.

Meanwhile, hubby is taking his sweet time doing ridiculous things like praying about this said desire or decision. Hmmm.

I am a firm believer in communication in general, but especially between husband and wife. So, I of course, voiced my desire to sweet hubby. He listened. He heard me. He asked me to trust him.

24 Hours later…. I voice my desire to hubby again. He listened. He heard me. He asked me to trust him.

12 Hours later…. I thrice (is that a word?) voice my desire to hubby. He listened. He heard me. He gave me the stank eye and told me I needed to trust him.

I realized that while I say I’ll follow my hubby anywhere and I trust him completely, my actions were not a great depiction of my vow. I had to unclench my fists that I had tightened around my plan and my desires and let them go. I have to trust that he is leading our sweet, weird family consisting of a crazy woman and a hyper dog down the right path.

And let me tell you, a quick way to a miserable marriage is to think I can manipulate him into agreeing with me or that giving him the cold shoulder will make him agree with me. Of course I have never tried such terrible tactics, I’m just guessing. You believe me right?! Right!?

Did you know venting to a friend about a problem is a huge stress relief? It can be about something serious or why they decreased the size of my favorite pumpkin candy corn… ok the latter is my serious problem.

I vented to a friend today and immediately felt the stress slide away as she encouraged me and yelled, “I HATE THAT TOO!”

Vent. Even if you have to skype your sister or brother to do it. If that doesn’t help… eat an incredibly small bag of pumpkin candy corn (I don’t care what they say, anything less than a pound does me no good.)

You are worth going out on a limb for.

It might be what we’ve grown up with. It may be the media. But the fact is, some of us have never thought about pursuing our dreams or we end up talking ourselves out of an adventure. I think it’s because we’re scared we won’t be worth it. There is no age limit on happiness. There is no “too late”. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. You are worth it. Start now.

My hysterical and wise friend Jude chimed in with her confidence boost on my post on insecurity. I’d love to hear the rest of yalls if you’ve got them! We could all use a little ‘pick me up’ and encouragement! Lets hear it!

I was having a conversation with a good friend the other day about the insecurity that weaseled its way in when we got married. Sometimes the insecurity may come in specific forms or just plain general self-loathing. However big or small, the power that insecurity has over our thoughts is ridiculous. (I tried to think of a more intelligent or sensitive word, but ridiculous is what you’re getting from me!)

I digress; this amazing friend of mine is gorgeous, talented, and married to a fabulous man. However, her insecurity made her doubt herself, her husband’s faithfulness, and even her purpose.

And the thing is, I’ve been there. I know Sam is so faithful, is solid in his faith walk and loves me so well. BUT catch me watching a horrible Lifetime movie and the next thing I know I’m wondering if Sam has been texting Angelina Jolie behind my back. Ridiculous? 100% yes. Real fear? Absolutely. Have you seen her in Tomb Raider?! Eat a doughnut woman!

I’ve been thinking about insecurity as a spouse and our fear that we will be betrayed.

And here is what has been stirring in my brain. I think Satan knows his game. He knows we have active imaginations and don’t want to believe that we’re worthy of a lifetime of loyalty and love. SO, this area is his playground. We give him a fast pass to the crazy circus inside our heads when we indulge these fears. There is a destructive part of our nature that almost takes pleasure in trying to imagine all the different ways that we’ll be betrayed. It’s like when you scratch a mosquito bite until it bleeds but it kind of feels good while you’re scratching the hell out of it.

Philippians 4:7- “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The more we root ourselves in that scripture, it becomes our truth. I even read in Timothy the other day that we have to practice Godliness- I forget that it’ll never come naturally.

Part of practicing Godliness is developing a plan when those thoughts creep in. It may be helpful to pray with your spouse as you experience these fears. I imagine it’s pretty powerful to have your spouse pray victory over you. That prayer automatically does a 180 degree ninja kick (I just made that up) to any fear or insecurity you are feeling.

Just in case you were feeling too serious this afternoon, you should have friends like Andrea.

Take a minute today to think about what your relationships would look like if you stopped forcing your way onto them. What would they look like if you stopped expecting your version of what’s “right” from them. What if you let them be who they are?

More on this tomorrow but I wanted you to marinate on it for yourselves. I just like messing with your days a bit. *enter evil laugh here*